Are you a reader? 10 common side effects to diagnose yourself (or your friends)

Posted On July 1, 2022

I have a question for you. Are you a reader?

You aren’t sure?

Well. There are many symptoms. Here are a few, to help you diagnose yourself. As you read, examine yourself. Do you see yourself in this following list? Let me know in the comments below.

You use long, confusing words. When you say things like “Umbelliferous” and “bamboozled” and “supercilious” in your everyday conversation, you can’t help but sound like a bookish person. Your friends will shake their heads and glance at each other in a bamboozled sort of way. (See what I did there?)

You wear T-shirts that reflect your bookishness. “Lego ergo sum,” a shirt might read. Or perhaps, “The Book Was Better Than The Movie.” Or, (gasp) “Quoth the Raven“!

You carry lots of books around with you. You lug around stacks of thick, daunting looking books, ready to plunge your nose inside whenever you have a spare moment.

It is strictly impossible for you to watch a movie without loudly pointing out all of the things that were different than the book. “ARRGH!” you might yell. “Didn’t they even LOOK at the book!?!?”

You visit the library regularly, and check out more books than you can physically carry. Picture this scenario: You lug your many novels and how-to books back to the library, check them in, then browse the aisles, lovingly looking from book to book. You happen upon a book series that you’ve never read before (oh, the joy!) and instantly decide to check the whole series out in one go. I’ve done this many times. It’s a pain and a pleasure. For one thing, if it’s a long series, you need to grab several plastic bags to put them in. The librarians will raise their eyebrows slightly at your voluminous pile, then chuckle slightly. They’re probably thinking, “Ah. That type of kid.”

You enjoy quoting things randomly. Books, movies, tv shows, you name it. You always have a glorious one-liner ready.

“Stop rhyming, and I mean it,” someone will yell at random intervals, quoting The Princess Bride. Then a sibling will answer with, “Anybody wanna peanut?”

“Great Scott!” another will gasp, widening their eyes to look like that guy from Back to the Future.

“Not happy, Bob, NOT HAPPY,” someone will say solemnly, referring to The Incredibles.

“Luke… I am your father”, a brother will whisper darkly, followed by “NOOOOOO!”

“EXPELLIARMUS!” someone will shriek randomly, aiming a pencil at another person, pretending to be a wizard.

“YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” someone will roar when you try to pass them in the hall. Or, (the horror) “Fly, you fools!”

“A red sun rises… blood has been spilled,” you say, looking off into the distance mournfully. (You have obviously been watching The Two Towers.)

“GET THE BOOT!” you screech, snatching a boot and charging away from your siblings, who instantly try to tackle you. (Do Durgans come to mind? You’ve been reading The Monster in the Hollows. An excellent book filled with cloaked people, fruit, bearded warriors, and monsters.)

You stay up past your bedtime on a regular basis. “Sorry, mom,” you might say. “But I just had to finish that book! I only had thirty-two chapters left, anyway!”

You love all things creative and wordy, and harbor a love for words. Do you have a great appreciation of literature and creativity, elves, dragons, adventure and story? Join the club!

You sniff books. Yeah, this is a weird one. But nothing quite compares to the smell of a well-loved tome.

Your friends introduce you to others in funny ways. “This is Abby,” someone might say. “She likes books…and writing.”

If this is the case, don’t worry. It wasn’t going to be a secret for long, anyway.

Well, there you have it.

Are you a reader?

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*Originally published April 2021. Revised and updated July 2022.

Hey, readers! Special announcement…. This is my 100th post on LadyBluebird! 🎉
What? How is that possible!
Thanks for sticking with me this long!